English as She Is Spoke

So, it's the 1880s, and your friend is making money with his Portuguese guide to the French language.  Why not just grab a French-English dictionary, flip the French phrases into English, then sell the result as a guide to English for Portuguese speakers?   From the book:
Familiar Phrases
  • Go to send for.
  • Have you say that?
  • Have you understand that he says?
  • Put your confidence at my.
  • At what o'clock dine him?
  • Dress your hairs.
Here is a horse who have a bad looks.  He not sall know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered.  Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is undshoed, he is with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier.
Poor horse. Read it for yourself...

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"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion." — Proverbs 18:2