English as She Is Spoke

So, it's the 1880s, and your friend is making money with his Portuguese guide to the French language.  Why not just grab a French-English dictionary, flip the French phrases into English, then sell the result as a guide to English for Portuguese speakers?   From the book:

Familiar Phrases

• Go to send for.
• Have you say that?
• Have you understand that he says?
• Put your confidence at my.
• At what o'clock dine him?
• Dress your hairs.

and

Here is a horse who have a bad looks.  He not sall know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered.  Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is undshoed, he is with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier.

Poor horse. Read it for yourself...